We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
