Banned from zoo.
Again?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
