I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
