I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize