so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
