it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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