Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
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