also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
