I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
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