this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
