It's like God shit irony all over that family
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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