his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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