im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Randomize