he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
