Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
