shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
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