Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
you never un-have a 4some
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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