Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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