Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
