i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Text me some of your sweat
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize