It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
