whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
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