Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
