smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
