THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
