I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
