Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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