Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize