we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
