John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
