hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I just gargled with NyQuil
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