I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize