What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
