turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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