I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize