4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I'm gonna have a badass scar
im drinking this country out of the recession.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize
