I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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