Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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