Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
