Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Rumble strips road head = magical
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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