apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
