I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
