Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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