So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
