i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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