people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
