Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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