Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
