Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I am available for nakedness
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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