OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
