Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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