I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Randomize
