Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
