Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Randomize
