I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize