shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
