i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize