remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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