in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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