At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
