I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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