Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Randomize
