Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
