im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
