So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
